i am probably the worst kind of person alive. he didnt do anything but yet took the blame from me. and till now, everytime when theres something that reminds me of it, i will bring it up to him again. and in the end, making him feel gulity. I feel bad for mentioning it to him but everytime i remember about it, the mental breakdown was real and bad. No matter how much i want to try to forget about it, my surroundings will remind me constantly. Even if it doesnt, flashbacks will. And when all this comes back to me again, old habits will relapse again. Then when they noticed it, they will blame themselves more. This isnt the what i want to see... i want them to be happy even if its without me. I want them to smile even if im suffering. Because they matter so much to me more than i matter.
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