Addiction

I hate what i have become.

I push people away,
because i feel like i'm not good enough,
for the happiness that they bring.

I hate that even on my best days,
I miss dragging a blade across my skin.

I hate that I hate my scars,
but I want to create more.

I hate lying to all the people i love about
what I'm doing to myself.

I hate crying and screaming
when I find out someone has thrown out my blades.

I hate me,
because of my addiction.