one of those days

It's one of those days when you just feel extra empty and just sad over nothing. I don't often have those days but right now I seem to have it every week. I feel so frustrated one moment then the other upset then the other empty. Nothing is wrong is just that I feel the unnecessary sadness that is so overwhelming right now.

I don't even know about myself too.

I want to talk to people but yet I don't want to.
I want to go out but yet I don't want to.
I don't even know what I want too.

But one thing for sure is that I miss you so much that I can't seem to do anything right anymore.
I miss you so much that it is affecting my daily life.
I miss you so much that it's killing me inside.
I miss you so much that it hurts.

I stopped texting.
You stopped caring.
I started crying.
You started ignoring.
In the end, I was the only one who think of our friendship so highly when you don't even think our friendship as anything.

Then again, I can't blame you if you don't take our friendship of any importance because who would really choose a daisy, in a field of roses? It just sucks because even if I try so fucking hard, nothing I do ever seems to be enough for anyone, not even for my damn self.

I wish it didn't hurt.
I wish I didn't care.
I wish it didn't matter.
I wish I was happy.
I wish I was pretty.
I wish I had money.
I wish I could sleep at night.
I wish I enjoyed my life.
I wish you were here.
I wish you meant it.
I wish I was different.
I wish I lived somewhere else.
I wish I didn't exist.