Tired

I am tired.
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Tired of trying.
Tired of being one sided.
Tired of being tired.
Tired of our friendship.
Tired of us.
Tired of you.
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They said you were worth holding on and I agreed with that.
They said you are such a caring friend and I agreed with that.
They said I am blessed to have you and I agreed with that.
They said they wish they had someone like you and I agreed with that.
They said you are my best-friend and I agreed with that.
But when
They asked how are you, I don't know.
They asked what are you doing, I don't know.
They asked if I know what happened to you, I don't know.
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All the questions I want to ask you.
Do I matter?
Do you care?
Do you need me?
Do you want me to get lost?
Do I even exist in your life?
Are we still best friends?
Are we even friends?
Am I a bother?
What am I to you?
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I am so tired of going through this again and again. Even if it doesn't get on your nerves, it gets on mine. I am so sick of always trying my best to talk to you but yet you don't seem to even care or bother to reply me? I am tired of this whole thing. Is this so called "bestfriends" If it is so, then let's just stop this whole play thing. As much as I love to have you in my life, I love to ask you get lost in my life right now. I am always trying. Trying to know more about you. Trying to be there for you. Trying my best as a best friend should. Trying to talk to you. Trying to make sure you are fine. But it just seems to me that whatever I tried doing is just useless. This is really the final time and thats it. I am giving up on us. Oh, wait, sorry, us don't even exist, all along it was just me and my problems and you helping me for the sake of helping.